Don’t piss in the wind.

I’m out with TCV  finishing off a gate we’ve been putting in around Derwent Res. It’s the day of one of the biggest storms in… or since records began or something like that. Which basically means it’s frikin windy. So it’s a good day to be responsible, which we are. Wearing hard hats, diligently checking the trees immediately around the work area for broken or breaking branches and checking the base of the trees for movement in the root plate. All seems fine, the tops of the trees might look like they are one of those weird clown things you could push over and sound like a freight train is rushing towards you, but we shouldn’t have anything falling on our heads. Which, I guess, is always a good thing.

Half way through the day, and it’s time for me to find a convenient place to take a leak. About 40m away was a nice clump of rhodi (I say nice in the sense that when I’ve worked my way in no one will see me from the path. I think that’s the only way you could use the word ‘nice’ in the same sentence as ‘rhodi’). But anyway, here I am in my secluded spot making sure I am very much not pissing into the wind, because today I’m being responsible and diligent, and mid stream I think to myself, “that’s a very brown looking branch”, which may seem like an ordinary thing to think in the height of Autumn. However, this particular tree is an evergreen, which is worrying, because it’s very much not green. Looking up, I see why the branch is brown, why you should always look up in a woodland and why you should maybe think twice about going for a piss in the wind. About a foot above my head was a particularly massive branch hanging by the smallest of slithers from an equally impressive Spruce. 

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